Have the sentence ready before you need it, and keep it short: “No thanks, I'm not drinking.” Then say it again with no reason attached — reasons invite negotiation. One push usually follows; answer it with the same words, change the subject in the same breath, and have your exit named before you arrive.
The offer: “No thanks, I'm not drinking.” Six words. Warm tone, flat content, no apology in it.
The push — it comes once, almost every time: “Same as before. I'm good with this.” Then change the subject in the same breath: “Hey, is there anything cold in there?” A question moves the moment along better than a second refusal.
The exit, named before you need it: “I've got an early one, I'm heading off.” Decided at home, not composed at the door.
A reason is a handle, and people push handles. 'I'm driving' invites 'one won't hurt.' 'I'm on medication' invites questions. 'I'm not drinking' has no handle on it. You are allowed not to explain — that is not rudeness, it is a boundary stated like a fact about the weather.
Under pressure you compose badly — everyone does. The point of saying the sentence out loud, now, in your own voice, is that the moment then asks you to remember something instead of invent it. Under pressure, memory wins; invention loses. Refusal-skills training is a standard part of behavioural treatment for exactly this reason.
Marrow has a practice scene — the Rehearsal — where the other side pushes once, the way a real person does, so your own voice has done it once already before the night arrives.
A person who pushes past the second no is telling you something about them, not about you. Repeat the line once more, same words, same tone, and then leave the conversation — the bathroom, the bar, the door. You never owe a third answer.
The Refusal is a three-minute paced run-through. The Rehearsal is the full practice scene with the other side played. Both free, both private.
If you are thinking of ending your life, or you are not safe where you are, stop reading and reach a person instead. These lines are free, confidential, and answered at any hour.