The short list: learn what a craving is, never offer or stock the substance casually, keep inviting them to normal life, ask “what helps?” instead of assuming, and get support for yourself too. You cannot do their recovery for them — but the environment around a person measurably shapes the outcome.
A craving is a wave: it builds, crests, and falls inside twenty to thirty minutes. When you see one arrive — the restlessness, the short fuse, the sudden plan — you do not have to fix it. Say less, not more: 'I'm here. Want to walk, or want quiet?' The wave passes. Your steadiness during it is worth more than any speech.
Do not keep the substance in the house if you can help it, and do not offer. Plan the hangout somewhere a drink is not the centerpiece, at least for the first months. This is not walking on eggshells forever — it is scaffolding while the new pathways get built.
And keep inviting them to normal life. Isolation feeds the thing they are fighting; ordinary plans — the movie, the meal, the team — are the actual treatment nobody calls treatment.
Some people want to be checked on daily; some want it never mentioned. Both are legitimate. Ask once, plainly: 'What helps? What should I never do?' Then believe the answer, and keep it. The checking-in that helps is the kind they asked for.
If they slip: shame is the fuel of the next one. The useful response is 'I'm glad you told me. What do we do today?' — not the cross-examination.
Loving someone in recovery is its own long middle. Al-Anon and SMART Family & Friends exist for you specifically, and using them is not an accusation — it is maintenance. You cannot pour from an empty one, and resentment is corrosive to both of you.
The whole thing is free, private, and needs no account. You can send it with a note they'll see first — the most powerful thing in recovery is one person reaching another.
If you are thinking of ending your life, or you are not safe where you are, stop reading and reach a person instead. These lines are free, confidential, and answered at any hour.